Paranoid about Pregnancy
Sarah replies:I lost my right ovary in March from an having an ovarian tumor, I am currently on the pill and my boyfriend uses condoms. However sometimes we fool around a little before he puts a condom on. My question is...what are the odds that I could still get pregnant considering my situation? What if he pre-ejaculates beforehand and doesn't tell me? I don't always take my pill the same time every night. Is it still effective? Plus my period is a day late, so I'm a little paranoid.
Unfortunately, it's pretty difficult to give you exact odds when it comes to your pregnancy risk here. There are so many factors influencing things that it's really difficult to be precise about it. However, if you are having genital contact without a condom and you are not taking your pill correctly, it is reasonable to think that you might have a pregnancy risk here.
It is still very possible to become pregnant if you only have one ovary. So in and of itself, that doesn't reduce your risk. Along with that, the pill only protects you fully when you're taking it correctly. Understand as well that it is pretty darn rare for either partner to notice when pre-ejaculate occurs (unless it came out on your hand, for instance). Men usually cannot feel it when they pre-ejaculate. And pre-ejaculate can contain sperm (especially likely if the man has ejaculated earlier and has not urinated since then).
So the real question at this point is, what can you do right now?
Well, the first thing to do would be to take a pregnancy test. If you're a day late, you can expect a pregnancy test to give you an accurate result.
The next thing you can do is talk with your partner about using condoms for ALL genital contact. That will help not only to reduce your fears of pregnancy, but it will also help protect both of you from STI transmission. This can be as easy as saying, "Hey honey, I've been worrying lately about the risk of accidentally becoming pregnant. I'm glad that we are using condoms, but I would feel a lot more comfortable if we started using them for all genital contact."
And finally, you should either start taking your pill at the same time each day or speak with your health care provider about finding another method of birth control. As I said before, the pill only protects you when you're taking it correctly (and missing or being late on several pills a month may compromise your protection). You don't have to be precise down to the minute with your pill, just try to take it within a couple of hours of the same time (to be the very safest). If you are having several late or missed pills a month, that's a pretty good sign that taking the pill everyday just isn't something that fits into your lifestyle well. You can speak with your health care provider about a method like the patch or ring that you would not have to remember to take everyday.
Check out the following links for more information:
- Three questions about taking the birth control pill (and plenty of answers)
- Birth Control Bingo!
- M.I.A or, Dude, Where's My Period?
- What's the Risk? Easy Pregnancy Risk Assessments
- Condom Basics: A User's Manual
If you truly are overly worried about becoming pregnant right now, then your best bet is to refrain from sexual activity until you are at a point where you can take steps to prevent pregnancy that you are comfortable with.