I'm 17 and about 2 months ago became sexually active with my partner of one year. And when I say sexually active, I mean having intercourse. My boyfriend is 20 and was so patient with everything.

Recently, he's hinted at me 'going down' on him. The thought of doing it doesn't disgust me or anything, but each time he hints at it I feel reluctant and end up not doing it. I'm going through the possible reasons why I stop myself, but I'm at a loss. I think I'm just nervous because I've never done it before; and the fact that he's older and has a bit more experience is intimidating. Would it be best to bring it up with him and talk about it?

Another thing, I haven't done much research into it on my own, but I'm wondering about going on the pill. Setting aside the risk of STDs, how much of a risk factor is there of getting pregnant just using the pill? Generally, the condom just seems the safest way, but I just wish he could get the most pleasure out of sex possible. However, I won't put myself at risk of pregnancy for it. Not ready for a baby now (but maybe some day!).

Thanks,

Dear Ash,

Yes, it is best to bring it up with him and talk about it. You might also talk about what you'd like to do when he ejaculates, and whether he should warn you just before. Some women swallow, but other women who give incredible blow jobs don't like to swallow and so they finish their lover off by hand. They are so good with the transition that the guy can hardly tell.

While you are talking with him about it, I would encourage you to also discuss his going down on you, if he doesn't already.

As for going on the pill, search through this site for information about it. Statistically, it is a very effective method of birth control IF you take it when you are supposed to. However, there can be lots of side effects for some women, so I strongly encourage you to monitor your body closely if you start taking it. Don't be afraid to switch to another kind of birth control if you notice changes that you don't like.

For some women, an excellent hormonal alternative to the pill is the NuvaRing. You place it in your vagina on day one, and don't pull it out until something like day 21. Be sure to ask your healthcare provider about it.

Best wishes,

Paul
author of "Guide To Getting It On!"

if you are interested in Paul's book:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1885535694/goofyfootpres