Okay, I'm a female and fifteen years old. I've been dating my boyfriend for 11 and 1/2 months now. We've had plenty of sexual contact without actually having sex (oral, fingering, dry humping, etc.). I am very paranoid about getting pregnant. I DON'T WANT TO! I'm very paranoid about his semen getting anywhere near my vagina. We tend to oral each other quite frequently, but I always make him go down on me first if we do. I want to be able to go down on him first, but there's one concern I have. If I went down on him, (orally, by the way), and he came into my mouth and I swallowed, then we made out, and then he went down on me, would it be possible for some of the semen to still be in my mouth after swallowing, then after making out some of the semen from my mouth gets into his, then when he goes down on me, the semen from his mouth finds its way into my vagina and gets me pregnant? I know I sound really paranoid but this is something I'm dying to know.

Dear O.P.,

You say you haven't actually been having sex. But for my money, "oral, fingering, dry humping, etc." is every bit as much sex as intercourse, and your boyfriend ought to consider himself one of the luckier guys on the planet! In fact, when some women look back over the sex they've had in their lives, they say the kind of non-intercourse sex that you are describing was the best they ever had. Of course, it depends on your relationship, the level of passion, and how well you are able to please each other.

So I hope you won't be thinking that having intercourse would take you to some kind of new level that will magically transform you and your relationship, because it won't. Based on what you have told me, all it would do is make you feel more frightened about getting pregnant, and why should anyone have to go through that?

Also, I disagree with you calling yourself "paranoid." I wish more people were as "paranoid."

As for your question about his semen in your mouth, into his mouth, then into your vagina and up through your cervix--and all this having to happen at just the right time of the month--I'd call it the sperm version of "Where's Waldo." Anything is possible, but to tell you the truth, the osmolarity of saliva does not make it sperms' best friend. And we're not exactly talking the most direct of routes between his penis and your fallopian tubes.

Still, I'm all for your "paranoia," and I don't think you should change what you are doing or the order you are doing it in. Maybe in two or three years you will feel differently, maybe not. But for now, I think you should follow your concerns. Or, you can explore ways of pleasing him orally where he has an orgasm but ejaculates off to the side.

Just so you'll know, when couples are getting each other off orally, I suspect that in the lion's share of cases it is he who gets her off first, given how we guys sometimes get unhorny as soon as we have an orgasm.

Best wishes,

Paul
author of "Guide To Getting It On!"

if you are interested in Paul's book:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1885535694/goofyfootpres