Hi,I'm a 19 year old male and have been with my current girlfriend (also 19) for a little bit over a year now. We have engaged in many types of sex, yet were wondering if you could help us on an issue we have. Concerning oral sex, my girlfriend has never actually swallowed my sperm, seeing as we have heard of the possible health risks. We have both been tested recently for STI's and been checked out negative. We always use condoms and we try to be as safe as possible, yet we both find the idea of her swallowing very erotic. We've discussed this issue and are both eager to try this, yet have refrained because of health risks. My question to you is whether it is possible for her to swallow and still be safe from any possible health issues. We would love to open up this new possibility and i can hardly believe that you just can't swallow period. Any enlightenment you could bring to us would be well appreciated.

Hello Jake,

First of all, good for you and your girlfriend for being so committed to each other's health and well-being. You're very right about the risks of unprotected oral sex -- it has the ability to spread 7 different STI's, including chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, and HIV. However, just to be clear, you had those risks with unprotected oral sex whether you ejaculated or not; pre-ejaculate contains just as many pathogens as semen. Avoiding ejaculation is never a good risk-reducer with either infection or pregnancy!

If you and your girlfriend have been monogamous for at least 6 months, both screened negative, and have made a commitment both to remain monogamous/continue sexual health screenings, only then are STI's no longer a concern. There are no health risks or complications associated with swallowing semen.

Should you decide the risk level is still not acceptable to you or that ejaculation is unpleasant for either of you -- remember, not-so-fun norms (as seen in pornography) would have all women love to swallow lots of semen, no question of giving oral sex altogether, which is far from the truth -- flavored condoms are an awesome accessory. One can even add additional flavors so long as the toppings don't come into contact with the vagina. Using a condom for all contact will protect you from all STI's, unlike avoiding ejaculation. Some people prefer a sweet treat to the taste of bodily fluids, so latex barriers don't have to be a bummer!

All the best,
Lauren

Additional reading:

STI Risk Assessment; The Cliff Notes

Safe, Sound & Sexy: A Safer Sex How-To