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Lube and money: do I need them?

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Anonymous asks:

I read through the checklist today and much of the "Material" items I do not have. Well, primarily the money. But since I live in a country where STD-testing is free 'till you turn 23 and very cheap after that and where abortion, pre-natal care and pretty much any health care you need is widely available and very cheap too, do I really need the money?

Another thing, do you have to use lube? Me and my boyfriend go without condoms (been monogamous since November last year..) and it feels amazing without lube...

Heather Corinna replies:

Usually, lubricant will make everything feel better for both partners. Too, if things get too dry, going without lube will make a condom at greater risk of breaking for those using condoms. If you're not using condoms (and here's hoping that that's only not only after monogamy, but after two sets of full and clear STI tests each), and things are always feeling lubricated enough for you during insertive sex, then there's no need to use lube if you don't prefer it.

But if it's a "don't knock it 'til you've tried it," situation -- in other words, if you don't yet know how it feels without lube -- it's likely worth a try, and if there are times you really are not very wet, or aren't staying very wet, it's best to use lube at those times for your pleasure as well as to be kind to your delicate genital tissue.

In terms of your financial needs in terms of your sexual health, if:
• all your safer sex and birth control methods are free
• STI testing for you and your partner is free
• treatment of any infections is free
• your yearly reproductive health exams are free
• pre-natal care as well as childbirth costs and/or abortion is free
• transportation to any of these things is free...

...then, well, no, you really wouldn't need that savings account to pay for what partnered sex can materially cost. But it's beyond unusual for ALL of those things, in any area, to be without any cost. If, though, your costs are substantially less than anyone else's are in general, there's no reason why the money you'll want to have on hand couldn't be a smaller amount.

written 24 Oct 2007 . updated 24 Jan 2014

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