How do you best position yourself to get eaten out?
Heather Corinna replies:How do you best position yourself to get eaten out? I've never thought of oral being appealing (as a girl) but I'm interested in how it would best be played out.
In other words, getting your wants and needs met when it comes to any kind of sex isn't about pointing your bottom at whatever the right angle is for a partner to somehow psychically intuit what you want: getting your wants and needs met starts with clearly VOICING those wants and needs. And the truth is that if you're mature enough to be having sex, you're certainly mature enough to talk about it.
Like so: "I'd really like to try being eaten out with you, is that something you'd like to try?" Or, if you're more direct, and your partner has already made clear that he or she would like to try giving you oral sex, then a "Why don't you lick me?" will also work. Or, when you're hot and heavy already with a partner, an "I'd love it if you'd go down on me," or some such, is also doable. What the best thing is for you to say is all about you: we should all be writing our own scripts when it comes to sex.
Depending on the dynamics of your particular relationship, and your own communication styles, you may find it's best to bring these things up outside the bedroom, or better when you're already in the thick of sex. If you're both just getting used to verbally communicating about sex together, it can also work to write out your desires in letter form. But you'll also want to be able to communicate during any kind of sex, to tell your partner what does or don't feel good, and vice-versa on their end. People who have healthy, satisfying sex lives talk to each other about sex openly.
If you're also asking about what given position or posture oral sex works out best in, that's something that also can go a lot of different ways, and depends a lot on what is most comfortable -- physically and emotionally -- for you and your partner. Some folks enjoy oral sex while lying on their back, others while sitting on the edge of a bed or chair, others while standing or on all fours, others while sitting on a partner's mouth. But basically, any way that someone can have their face on your vulva that is also comfortable for you is a way that works.
Just remember that the other part of the equation here is what your partner is ready for and interested in, too, and that some of your sexual discussion should also be about sex safety. For instance, for both of you to best prevent contracting or transmitting STIs, oral sex -- male or female -- should be done with a latex barrier until you've been together for at least six months, using barriers, and each have TWO full and clear STI screens between you.