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How do I trick my boyfriend into getting me pregnant?

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amber asks:

I want my boyfriend to get me pregnant. But I want to trick him into it how can I do that?

Heather Corinna replies:

All I can do is to strongly encourage you not to deceive anyone into becoming a parent.

Would you want someone to trick you into pregnancy or parenting? Given, it's you who would become pregnant and give birth, not a guy, but manipulating someone into the position of creating a pregnancy when they do not want to be part of a pregnancy, become a parent or be financially obligated to support a child is profoundly unethical. And if your boyfriend is doing all he can to use or support your use of birth control, undermining that without his consent is pretty deplorable in my book.

On top of that, as is the case with any pregnancy, you need to consider things for a child just as much as you consider them for yourself. Assuming you're earnestly ready to become pregnant, give birth and be a parent -- ready financially, ready practically, ready emotionally, ready socially -- how might you envision yourself explaining to a child this conception story? How might you explain to them why -- as is likely -- they have one parent who doesn't want anything or much to do with them because you deceived that parent into being one?

As well, if you did this, are you ready to most likely have your relationship end because of what you've done, and to probably end very badly? Are you ready to be responsible for taking the actions you did? Heck, are you ready for a possible legal case in which the father refuses to provide support for a child or for you during your pregnancy where in a court of law, you'll have to admit that you tricked him? If he decides he does want to parent, you may even find yourself in a custody battle where your actions gave him the ability to prove that you're not a good choice for a custodial parent.

An environment of manipulation and deception isn't a good environment for a child, full-stop. Obviously, sometimes it happens that a child is born into those situations beyond anyone's control, or beyond one parent's control, but this isn't one of those since you are asking about how to intentionally create that environment yourself. I'd also posit that a parent who is a manipulative person is not likely to be a good parent, or be one yet before they work out that profound character flaw. If you can envision the kind of parent or parents that you would want for a child, I'd hope what you visualize are honest, loving and respectful people who only enter into parenting when everyone involved is on board and wanting to commit to a child. That doesn't seem like what you've got going on here. Lastly, I'd say that emotional maturity and stability is a BIG requirement of good parenting, and that's not at play when intentional deception is afoot.

Why not wait for pregnancy and parenting until you're able to either really do it on your own and with the consent of someone willing to be a sperm donor, or until you are with a partner, or at a time in both of your lives with your current partner, where everyone involved shares the same desire and ability to become parents? Why not wait for an environment that is mutually supportive and joyful rather than based in dishonesty and manipulation? Not only is a better situation, and one where everyone who is part of a pregnancy is both consenting and committed, going to be much better for a child, it's going to be way better for you.

If you're in a relationship now where you want to talk about creating a family and that's not a desire your partner shares, it may be that you and this partner aren't a good fit if those needs are in conflict. And given how you're feeling about this, I'd suggest you have a talk with your boyfriend about your strong desire to parent to see if you are or are not on the same page. If you're not -- and particularly if you are so intent you're going to deceive him -- it'll be better for both of you to split and find more compatible partners.

I'd suggest having a look at the following links, as well as committing yourself to make a more ethical choice than this:

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