I am 23, going to get married next month. My husband would like to have anal sex and oral sex. I am still a virgin, and I am scared about the pain during sex. Tell me how to have safe oral and anal sex?

If you're marrying him, you should have the rest of your lives together to explore and figure out how to enjoy sex in its many forms. Given that weddings can be hectic affairs, chances are you won't get around to doing *everything* on your wedding night anyway. I'd suggest you take things very slowly and explore a few things at a time. If you're afraid or nervous, it will take some time to relax, get aroused (or even realize that you're aroused) and prepare for sex.

But before you even get to all of that, it's good to read ahead so you can know what to expect. You can read about first-time sex in our article, First Intercourse 101. that should be a good start. Depending on where you live, you may be required to have blood tests done prior to being married. All sexually active couples should get tested for infections including HIV, preferably together. You may also want to get tested for genetic disorders, too, presuming you plan to have children together.

About oral and anal sex, even though you will be married, you should still use condoms to enjoy these activities safely. If you choose to engage in both oral and anal sex in the same sexual encounter, you must make sure he changes the condom between sex acts. You do not want to put your mouth on his penis after it has been in your rectum because there can be feces on the condom. Granted, many people are still averse to putting their mouth on a penis after it has been in the rectum even after the condom has been changed.

When performing oral sex, it's important to note that the most sensitive part of the penis is the tip. It isn't necessary to choke on the whole thing. If it won't fit in, then don't force it. When engaging in anal sex, go slowly. If it really hurt, again, do not force it. The anus does to lubricate itself, so use a water-based lubricant (you can buy them at drug stores, chemist shops, etc.) to ease penetration. Condoms are important for both oral and anal sex, so don't forget to stock up on them.

If you want to read more about oral sex, check out Mouthing Off on Oral Sex. If you want to read more about anal sex, check out Advice: Anal sex