What exactly is the "G-spot," and do you just know when you find it? So my boyfriend fingers me but sometimes I'm not in the mood, so I ask him to stop. Afterwards he says, "Did you...you know?" I don't know what he meant by that, do you?

The G-spot is more formally known as the Grafenberg spot, after the guy who described it first in the medical literature. Some folks call it the paraurethral sponge. This structure, whose existence is sometimes debated, is located on the ventral (belly-side) wall of the vagina, about 3cm (an inch and a half) in from the opening. Its texture is different from the rest of the vagina. It feels like a patch about 1 inch across (the size of an American 25¢ coin) with soft ridges. It's called the paraurethral sponge because the tissue is spongy, and it's near the paraurethral glands. The G-spot is more responsive to touch and pressure than the rest of the vagina, and many women find G-spot stimulation highly pleasurable. To learn more about the G-spot and other female anatomical structures, you oughtta read Pink Parts - Female Sexual Anatomy

As for "you know", he's asking you whether you had an orgasm or not. But you probably didn't cause it's pretty hard to have one when you're not in the mood for sexual play. To learn more about orgasm, check out Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide. The bigger issue, though, is that you need to be clearer with him about when you want to be engaging in sexual activity. You should learn to communicate to him when you are or are not in the mood, so that you won't have to put up with discomfort from unwanted sexual advances.

Here are some things to read to help you with that:

• Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner
• Sexual Negotiation for the Long Haul