Hi. I am a 24-year old male. I have done sex with girl friends 4 times until now. But the problem is that even after, say, 10-15 minutes of continuous intercourse I am not able to ejaculate. I get exhausted and I have to leave it because the girl also gets exhausted. When I masturbate by lying upside down and stroking the bed, which is my usual way I get ejaculation.
Is this some kind of disease ? Is there any problem with me ?

Thanks for your question.

Sorry to be confused, but you say "even after 10-15 minutes of continuous intercourse"... A lot of couples would be delighted if intercourse lasted 10-15 minutes. That's certainly not outside of the ballpark of normal, and I can't see a woman being exhausted from it unless maybe she's shooting heroin AND smoking 10 packs of cigarettes a day. So, is it possible you're lasting a lot more than 10-15 minutes?

If the problem is that you can go for a lot longer than that, and neither of you is happy with you being the Eveready Bunny of thrusting, then we can explore more along those lines. That would be a situation we call "delayed ejaculation" or "retarded ejaculation." (Experts used to just call it retarded ejaculation, but guys started taking offense to being called 'retarded ejaculators'.)

I'm in the process of writing a two-pager on this very subject, and will try to post it on Scarleteen in the next week or so. But you'll need to email me with a reminder in another week, because I can get really slow about finishing articles if I've not got a deadline breathing down my neck.

One of the things you mentioned that caught my eye is the way you usually masturbate. Darned if a colleage hasn't mentioned to me his theory that a lot of guys who have trouble coming when they'd like to during intercourse masturbate face down. I'm sorry, but from your description of "I masturbate by lying upside down and stroking the bed," I'm not sure if you do it this way. But I can't see how you don't, unless your bed is on the ceiling. So if you do, why not try to humor my colleage and teach yourself to masturbate like--oh, 99% of the rest of your guy friends do it. Given how you've got the face-and-body-into-the-mattress thing going on, I can appreciate that making a change will be easier said than done. We're talking about going from full frontal body stimulation to simply slapping your favorite monkey, but I think it might be good for both you and your mattress to give the old way a rest for a couple of months. And who knows, maybe your mattress will take a liking to your backside!

Paul
author of "Guide To Getting It On!"

if you are interested in Paul's book:
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1885535694/goofyfootpres-20