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Questions and Answers

How can women who sleep with women know when they have lost their virginity?

Anonymous asks:

I am bisexual and my girlfriend and I are planning on having sex for the first time. We both are virgins and want to lose it to each other but don't know how and how will we know that we lost it?

Navigating sex and sexuality after a long history of abuse and assault

Sara asks:

When I was younger, (think 8 to begin with) my uncle kissed me on the mouth and told me that was the way I was supposed to kiss boys. It catapulted me out of normal 8 year old states of mind and left me obsessing about sex. I masturbated A LOT and had what I thought years later what might have been an orgasm at 11.

I thought that everyone was as sex obsessed as I was, which was probably due to the enormous amounts of media attention paid to having sex, trying to have sex, making yourself sexy enough to have sex, etc. It might also be useful to add that I was way ahead in school, so my peer group were at least 2 years older than I was, meaning that the boys around me were hitting puberty when I started this crazy sexual revolution...

Upstairs, downstairs

Anonymous asks:

I couldn't get it up and I'm 19! It was going to be the first time for me and my girlfriend, but the man downstairs didn't respond! I didn't feel nervous, I felt confident that I would be fine. But when the mood struck I couldn't deliver. Now not only do I feel like crud, I'm hoping that the next time it happens that the little soldier downstairs decides to take some action... It felt like the most disappointing thing in my life. I was tired. If that is a factor, then maybe I just need a good nights sleep and another go at it? Any advice would be amazing.

What does sex feel like?

Curious asks:

I have never had sex before, and before I do I want to really know what it is like from other people. I want to know what it feels like.

How can I help my girlfriend see how beautiful she really is?

Jacob asks:

My girlfriend is uncomfortable being naked around me. She is beautiful and I love the way she looks. If she could see what I see, she would be more comfortable. What can I do to make her feel better?

Why does male sexuality seem so repulsive to me? Am I just too feminist?

Anonymous asks:

This is more of a psychological issue, I think, than a physical one, and possibly unsolvable, but I'll ask your opinion anyway because this site seems pretty clued up and sensibly feminist and lovely.

I have recently become disgusted with the idea of male pleasure. It's like I'm... too feminist to function. I have had sexual partners in the past, but recently, the more I learn about male character (although that is a gross generalization, I know - there is no innate male or female "character"), the less reconciled I am to pleasing men. My rational mind knows that there are plenty of men who are not misogynist pigs, who don't objectify women, who aren't secretly rapists... yet when I fantasize about sex, and men getting pleasure from sex, I feel physically repulsed. Like, how dare they use my body, they're just like trying to get pleasure from me. I know that is MASSIVELY unjust because surely women are using men too, but I literally can't help it.

I might be pregnant, but don't want to tell my parents.

anonymous asks:

What should I do if I think I am pregnant but I don't want my mum or dad knowing?

What's an ectopic pregnancy?

Anna asks:

What is ectopic pregnancy? I saw it listed as one of the possible risks with Plan B.

But I still want more!

Amanda asks:

How do I turn my boyfriend on again after we already had sex one time? I am a pretty good looking young girl and I like to have sex more than once a day if its on the weekend, and not planned sex either. Like if I feel like my boyfriend looks really good I want to show that. But after we have sex it only lasts for like 5-6 minutes and then he's done, and I am just getting started. But he says he's tired and can't possibly do it again and it's like a big deal for him. He's only 21, so I'm just wondering maybe he has a problem? He eats A LOT OF CRAP like sweets and stuff: maybe that has something to do with it. I tried to get him to see a doctor but I think that only pissed him off. A healthy sex life is EXTREMELY important to me. What do I do?

I'm Not Sure What Either of Us Wants

Marie asks:

My boyfriend and I have been talking about having sex. We are both still virgins. Every time we talk the sex subject usually comes up and he wants to talk about what I want him to do to me ... but I’m not really sure exactly what I want. He’s a year older than me and knows a little bit more about sex than I do. He told me he wants to go down on me hard and do me real good. How do I find out what he wants without having to ask or having to wait until the time that we have sex?

How do I convince him to use a condom when he says we don't need one?

Dawn asks:

I'm 14. There is this guy I knew for a couple of years now. We are very good, close friends. As the months went by, we started to get sexually attracted to each other. About 2-3 weeks ago we had oral sex (I sucked his penis only). Now we want to do even more. We both want to actually have sex. I'm really attracted to him sexually. After sexual intercourse has occurred between the two of us, there's no way I can ever forget him. I will have to live my life knowing he was the one who took my virginity, and that's fine. But the only problem is...he feels that there is no need for a condom. He says "there is a feeling he gets that lets him know when the sperm is coming." Should I believe what he says is true or should I convince him that a condom is definitely needed?

Breaking the silence around moaning and groaning

Tiffany asks:

For some reason, I can't moan during any kind of sex. For as long as I have been having sex, I have never moaned. My new partner really wants me to moan. I was wondering if there is any specific reason why I can't moan...

We both masturbate, but she hates that I do.

Anonymous asks:

Recently my girlfriend and I have become more sexually active. We've agreed not to have intercourse, but to do everything else. Along with our discussions came the issue of masturbation. We both do it, but she never achieves orgasm through it. She hates that I do it, although I've explained it is natural and healthy for guys and does not affect anything we do and does not make her less important. I do not know really how to approach the issue to make her feel better.

How do I get my girlfriend comfortable with the idea of a threesome?

muskate23 asks:

Me and my GF have been going out for about a year and I want to get her comfortable with us bringing in another girl, but I don't know how to approach her about it. I don't know what I should say to get her comfortable. I don't want to sound as if I want another girl, I just want to try something new.

But they wouldn't sell douches if they were bad, right?

Amanda asks:

My boyfriend is convinced that I should douche. I have told him about what I've read on this site about how bad they can be for you but he argues that they wouldn't exist if they were that bad. I have recently had 2 UTIs and 2 yeast infections within a couple of months so now I am wondering if maybe he is right and that I should douche... According to him, my vagina smells and tastes differently than it used to. Could douching "fix" this? Should I douche?? HELP!

I know consent is awesome, but rejection is not!

Anonymous asks:

I know guys should ask for consent, but can you say some stuff about handling rejection? What about the times when she says no? This would be really helpful - because it's really hard not to take it personally - and that's probably the biggest reason guys don't ask, because they fear rejection.

We're saving sex for marriage, but he wants to have anal sex.

May asks:

I am 22 years old and my BF is 23 years old. We are both virgins and we both want to stay virgins until marriage. We have been together for 3 years now and lately he mentioned to me that he wants to have anal sex. I want to do it but I want to ask if he should wear a condom. Also, will it hurt?

Why can't she just understand that I'm not ready yet?

Chad asks:

My girlfriend doesn't understand why we can't have sex because I'm not ready. I keep asking her to wait a little longer, but then she gets confused and she thinks I'm not interested. I just don't want to mess up or get an STD. I don't know what to do.

I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm......not.

Dave asks:

Basically, my problem is that I cannot seem to cum during oral sex or intercourse. If she uses her hand then I reach orgasm within an acceptable space of time. However, when having sex or receiving oral sex, the feelings build up but never quite reach the point of orgasm. Is this normal? Is there anything I can do?

Casual sex with a friend that didn't stay so casual.

Anonymous asks:

I've done a bad, bad thing. I lost my virginity about a year ago in my sophomore year in high school to my ex. Since then I've slept with a couple more guys including my best friend, J (I guess that's better than using his real name). J was a virgin until we were "together," but I found out afterward that he's has feelings for me for a while now. To tell the truth, I thought we were just screwing around and getting drunk together, and then it lead to sex. Now he's all clingy, romantic and, "we should be together for the rest of our lives" kind of crap. I hate romantic. I want to be friends again but he sees us either as a couple or nothing. I'm so screwed. What should I do to make him my best friend again?

Deep down I think that sex is bad and wrong. What can I do??

Anonymous asks:

I've recently realized that I have some deep seated negative thoughts about sex. I feel that it's dirty, wrong and I'm bad if I have sex or use sex toys. I've always had some pain when I've had sex but I thought it was because I was nervous that it would hurt, so I would clench and it would cause pain. But I just got my first vibrator and I couldn't use it because I was clenching so hard that it hurt to use it. I realized that it's not that I'm scared of the pain, it’s that deep down I have the belief that if you have sex, or use sex toys, that you're a bad person and that it's not normal. I know that this is untrue, but it’s impacting my sex life enormously. How do I overcome my irrational fears?

I'm a Straight Girl, but Wish I Were a Gay Guy...

Leahcar asks:

I'm a straight 20-year-old girl who lately can't get the idea out of my head that I wish sooo much that I'd been born a gay boy instead. I'm not sexually active right now at all (have had 2 partners in the past but nothing for over a year) and it's pretty frustrating because I miss it. To compensate, I finally got the guts to look at some porn over the internet, but never with any girls - just (male) gay. In fact, seeing girls almost always totally turns me off and I really can't stand the moans of a female. What I like most is seeing "gay for pay" - straight guys who engage in gay sexual activities for money for websites. I've also become obsessed with finding gay-themed movies posted in parts by YouTube users. I'm a huge sucker for coming out stories or tales of experimentation and love and romance, both in full-length movies and short films. I've also realized how much more pleasure it seems a man can get from his penis than I can from my vagina. I mean, guys can jack off for like over 20 minutes sometimes before they orgasm, all the while feeling some sort of pleasure, and the same when receiving a blowjob (which, for the most part, I think guys can give better than girls). When I try to masturbate, it usually lasts less than a minute, it seems, and sometimes nothing even works. I don't think I ever orgasmed during intercourse in any of the times I had it. I hate practically everything about my body anyway, but after watching so many guys get off I just really wish I had a penis...

Three questions after abortion and one after miscarriage

anonymous asks:

I had a surgical abortion at 10 weeks in February. Besides the abortion, I have never been to an OB-GYN, but because I am getting married in May, I would like to go soon. Since it is likely that I will move and never go back to this particular OB-GYN, is it necessary that I tell her about my abortion? Will she be able to tell during the examination? I've read that the cervical opening looks more like a slit than a circle after it has been fully dilated, but I doubt I was fully dilated for the procedure. I don't want to lie or be tricky, and I know it is best to tell a doctor everything about your medical history, but since this will likely be a one-time visit with a doctor I know very little about (ex. pro-life or pro-choice), I would really prefer to avoid the topic if at all possible. Thanks!

My best friend just came out to me... but I was in love with him.

Andi asks:

My best friend (boy) just came out to me that he is gay (I'm a girl).

I have been in love with him for 2 years now, and I am utterly devastated by this. I am really, really heartbroken. This happened just 3 days ago and I'm still in a state of shock. I don't know what to do now. I tell myself I'm feeling sad because I thought I might lose him, because he is now this new person I never knew, because he was never the guy I thought he was. But honestly, it may be because I am losing him as in I can never be his girlfriend/wife (because he will never like girls!). How do I deal with this?

I'm going on a trip alone, but I wonder if I should be prepared for being raped.

Tash asks:

I'm going traveling alone soon, and do realize the risks of it. I've recently been thinking about the prospects of rape, I know it may not be more likely to happen in a foreign country than here, but I do live in one of the safest places in England, so I'm quite ignorant of the likelyness of it. I'm a virgin, and have no idea if it would hurt more than if I were not. I know it sounds like a stupid question but its not something I can discuss with anyone I know. Anyway, would it be worth losing my virginity prior to leaving on the off chance? I have no one in mind to lose it to, and I understand it needs to be with someone I trust and feel comfortable, I'm just confused and need some help. Thank you.

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