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Burning, mystery fluids and no bleeding: I'm scared!

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Anonymous asks:

Last night I had sex with my boyfriend without a condom. I'm am currently on this new birth control Yaz 24/7 (or something along those lines). Well yesterday he ejaculated inside of me. First the inside of my vagina started to burn really bad. Then my stomach started hurting a lot (sharp pains), and I got really bad cramps. I was terrified. The worst part was when I stood up, a clear mucus type liquid came out of my vagina. First it dripped. Then a great amount pour out and slid down my leg. I started crying because I don't think this is normal. It seemed like his ejaculate just sat in my vagina and when I stood up it just slid down my leg. But I don't think it was his ejaculate! There was no blood, either. I'm SO scared. What's going on? Please help!

Heather Corinna replies:

Breathe, sister.

Seriously, it's all going to be okay, and there's just no reason for you to be so scared.

For starters, it's totally normal for ejaculate to run out like that after intercourse where the male partner ejaculates without a condom. That's plain old gravity: when you're laying down or sitting it tends to run out more gradually then when you're standing right up. It's normal, and it's okay. It's also normal for your own self-lubrication to be present.

It's normal for there not to be blood involved in any of this. Even if this was your first time having intercourse, it's just as common NOT to bleed as it is TO bleed. Obviously, ideally, we're looking for there NOT to be bleeding, since one big reason bleeding happens is because a woman either isn't aroused and relaxed enough before intercourse, and/or her partner is being too rough.

I'm willing to bet that those cramps and your stomach ache were like more from being so scared and nervous. Too, sometimes sexual arousal and intercourse can give us crummies in our tummies. Per the arousal, that causes some hormonal changes in us, which can make us feel a bit out of sorts sometimes. Too, vaginal intercourse also can bump us and our orgasm around a decent bit, so that can also result in cramping and stomach upset.

Lastly, if you didn't reach orgasm, vasocongestion can cause pelvic camps and discomfort: guys call it blue balls when it happens to them, but the same thing can happen to us, too.

The burning in your vagina is about the only thing that causes me any concern. Now, it's possible that if you weren't using extra lubricant, or were going at it for a while that you felt a burning just because of the semen coming in contact with vaginal tissue that was a bit raw: that's normal enough. (Though for future reference, lube is your friend, and you only want to have intercourse when you want it, and for as long as it feels good -- if you start feeling raw, it's time to stop.)

Very rarely, some women are sensitive or allergic to semen: so, another possibility -- albeit a far smaller one -- would be that you have an allergy.

One other possibility, especially if this is not the first time you've been sexually active, is that that burning was due to an STI or vaginal infection you've already got brewing. I'm hoping that you and your boyfriend are only having the unprotected (as in, without condoms) sex AFTER each having practiced safer sex for six months, including STI screenings. I'm also hoping you were given a pelvic exam and screening before you were prescribed the Yaz. If that was not the case, then just in case, and just because it's important, then I'd be sure that both you and your boyfriend go and get a current STI screening. And if you have not already been practicing safer sex for at least six months before this -- that's screenings, monogamy AND latex barriers -- then I'd encourage you to do that before going without the condoms again.

Regardless, none of this is any reason to be sitting here so terrified. If you need a screening, go and get one, by all means. If you need to add lube to the sex you're having, or be sure that you're only having intercourse when you want to and for as long as feels good, do that. If you need to find out more about how your own body and sex works before having more, please do yourself a favor and do that -- as well, if all this is just too much for you to deal with, wait for sex until it's not all so scary. But also do yourself a favor and take a breath, or go hug your best friend: I think everything is going to be okay here.

Here are a few extra links for information and comfort:

written 30 Sep 2007 . updated 22 Jan 2014

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